My workout for the morning

Anyone want a dog? 'Cause I can't decide if I'm going to kill mine, or kiss him.

Our crazy mutt Dexter, who spent much of the winter with some difficulties jumping up on our bed or couch, to the point that hubby had to PICK HIM UP to get him into bed with us at night, yes, that same dog ... found a way this AM to jump up and squish that butt of his through a hole in our back fence.

I kid you not.

See, a while back (I tried to WW post about this, but that particular day blogger was unforgiving of images so it never happened) a tree from behind our yard blew up and over and INTO our yard. Well, not the whole thing, as it's like a zillion feet high. Really. I promise. Anyway, said tree found a way to take the momentum of the wind, and fall over. Onto and through our fence, landing partially on our tree, leaning through this tree and breaking into two once landing IN our yard.

I have the pictures to prove it right here: (And you know what, maybe it's not Blogger. I have a feeling these images are like GIGANTIC and therefore refuse to load when picked. BAH!)

And so, hubby boarded up the fence somewhat, said we should be good to go, and we were. For WEEKS. You know what, maybe even over a month. Until Dexter saw something through that fence. Down in the woods-y area that is partially our property but mostly woods between us and the kennel behind us. I mean completely wooded. Trees and trees and dead trees. Sigh.

So, here I am, calling him. SCREAMING his name. He wouldn't come in. He's still inside the fenced in yard at the time. No dice. I go get hubby's boots and start heading out to him, while seeing that he's decided to go THROUGH the hole in the fence! WHAT!?! Are you friggin kidding me, dog? Seriously? Ahhhhhh!

If the whole neighborhood did not hear me screaming DEXTER I don't know how that would have been possible. I could SEE him for a few minutes, but by the time I went to get a cookie to try to get his attention he was gone. Don't panic. Don't scream. He is chipped. He's not wearing his collar. (Why not, you ask? Because he was in our own friggin yard!!!! Why would he need a collar in our yard!?! I'm sorry, this isn't your fault. Forgive me. Emotions are still running high over here.)

Problem, me, home alone w. the child. Can't exactly take off into the woods w. her, can't exactly leave my 3-yo home alone, now, can I? Thank goodness a friend was home down the street. He took her in to play w. his lil one, they're BFF anyway, so that was easy enough.

I keep looking. Nobody hears me screaming? Really? Nobody? I come home to get the collar/leash and walk down the street. A woman HAS seen him. Down there. She points. I run. No Dexter. I start whistling. A neighbor asks me if I'm looking for my dog. YES! 'We gave him some water. He seemed really friendly. And really thirsty. I knew he was someone's as he was so friendly.' OMG! Where is he? He doesn't know but then, points, there he is!!

DEXTER!!! Come here, buddy! Come on! Come here!!! Get collar and leash on. Start crying. Thank neighbor SO SO MUCH. Neighbor admits to giving Dexter sausage. Of course. Mommy is losing her mind and doggie is living the high-life. Running free and eating sausage. D@mned dog. How much I love you is no reason for you to test me like this. If you'd only be calmer when we have you on a leash we'd walk you more. But that's no excuse. I promise more walks as a family now that it's nicer out. Daddy will come, too. And then you have to promise to never run away again. EVER.

Take that. Now get over here. Mommy needs some lovin'.

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