A Year Later

And I still can't believe she is gone.

My Aunt passed a year ago today. She suffered from pancreatic cancer, but my immediate family (my father, my mother, myself and my brother) did not know she was sick. And I mean really sick. My dad (her brother) had a week with her, give or take, before she left us.

I try to avoid multiple posts in one day, but today is the kind of day that I need to pay a small tribute to her memory. She was in her early 50s - but thought she was 22! She was a bundle of energy always. She was beautiful. She was a survivor. She beat breast cancer and stayed strong, and then the beast of pancreatic cancer beat her down.

I didn't get to see her before she died. She never met my daughter. She was the only person my father had left of his immediate family, having lost his own parents many years ago.

My aunt was a spitfire. 100% of the time. I can still hear what was her voice when I spoke to her before she left us. Just the night before, or I think it was.

Yesterday my husband spent some time cleaning the garage, and he handed me a box and said, 'You're always asking me for boxes to clean, so have at it!' And so I did. And found a ton of memories from my bridal shower. One that was timely and hit me hard, while I was talking to my mother on the phone, no less, was a handwritten "memory" from my Aunt. Who said that her "memory" of me was when she was pregnant with my cousin, and we went to the beach, and she wore my mom's bathing suit. And I was in a bikini (ha! Imagine that!) ... and her scrawl was across the tiniest piece of paper. Without a signature. But I know it was her. And she leaves me with that memory. I know I was her first niece, her favorite. And I know how special she was. And will always be, as she lives in our hearts and our memories.
If you want to read my posts from last year, please feel free:

March 17, 2009

March 23, 2009
Rest in peace, Tanta. I hope you're healed and in no pain this year later. I hope you know we love and miss you. And I loved you so.

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