You Know You're a Mom When ...

** You make pepperoni pizzas from 100 calorie flatbread, shredded mozzarella cheese, a spoonful of marinara sauce and a snack size bag of mini-pepperonis!

** You try to start knitting for oh, about five minutes, and have to stop as your almost four-year-old decides she wants to knit, too, and proceeds to unroll your yarn. The yarn you haven't touched in over a year. Yeah, that stuff.

** You sit through 2-3 episodes of Sponge Bob just to avoid a meltdown. And possibly cause your own meltdown. Yeah, that's me.

** You decide you need to invest in Band Aids, as they've cornered the market with Hello Kitty, Dora and Toy Story. And your child needs at least one of them every other day for some small and insignificant injury.

** When that phone rings at 5PM and your husband tells you he's working til 10PM you're about ready to tear your own hair out.

** You've been ordered to turn around in your chair and when you look up the pint-sized dictator is hurling herself across the room into your arms, pepperoni greased hands and all.

** You have to avoid the aforementioned grease when it comes to kisses, because MAN, you do NOT eat pepperoni. Gross.

** You're ready for bed at about 6PM. Your child, however, is so NOT.

** Boogie Wipes are your friends.

** You wish that wine in a sippy cup was approved by your local children services program. For YOU, of course. Geez, people, get your mind back on track here.

** You love your child more than words can describe. So much so that you're going to let her live til her fourth birthday. Which is this Thursday. After that -- well -- we shall see.

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