She stared right out the windows and didn't move.
Did she even notice the way I was watching her?
She tilted her head a bit, popping her neck in that odd way she always had.
Was I even allowed to notice those things anymore? I had given up all rights to her and her eccentricities months ago. When I opened my mouth and said those stupid words. 'I don't think this is working,' my mind wandered back briefly.
I can remember watching her mouth moving and not truly hearing what it was she was saying. She seemed so ripped open. Shredded raw. That was then. Not now.
Did it even matter how much I regretted those words? Surely not. She had moved on. Look at her. How strong she is. How unmoved by my presence. If I weren't stuck here she wouldn't care. She'd be going about her business as always.
But I'm here. Why can't I just look at her simply, the way she looks at me now? Turning, pushing her hair behind her ear. Smiling, simply smiling.
"Matty?" she whispered.
"Uh, yeah? What's up?" I responded, clearing my throat mid-sentence.
"Are you okay?" I suppose I nodded. She smiled again. How I envied those who got to see that smile every day. The twinkle in her eyes. That deep and bright green all at once. "Okay, good." She seemed to be swallowing. Was that a tear? She wiped at her eyes. Wait, what was happening here? Was there a chance? Ah, she must be thinking of something. Or someone. Someone else.
Holy shit, she met someone else. She's thinking about him right now, isn't she? I hate him. I hate that bastard. Where is he, anyway? Why isn't he here while I am? How much can he even care about her if he's somewhere else when she needs him?
Damn.
How stupid am I? How could I not think someone like her would move on?
Pretty freakin' stupid. Geez. She is so beautiful. Is she glowing? She might actually be glowing.
"Em?" She turned. Looked right at me. "What are you thinking right now?" She opened her mouth. Closed it. Shook her head slowly.
My throat burned. My heart felt like it was going to leap straight out of my chest. Of course she won't tell me. It's not my business. What an ass. I'm such an idiot. I took a deep breath and started towards her. "I'm sorry, Em. I'm so, so sorry."
** This post is in response to the Red Dress Club's Jealousy prompt. To find out more about this story, please click here and read up on these characters. As always, constructive criticism is welcomed. **
This is interesting. Well written.
ReplyDeleteI read the previous one also. I like how you took this from the opposite side.
I'd like a little more story I think, to know the whys and whats that led to here.
Keep going with this. I'll be back.
I'm so happy to see the after!! I love that he is jealous of another man who may or may not even be in the picture. I love that he still feels protective of her thinking that whoever HE was, he was undeserving. I love that he cares, and his heart aches from his words.
ReplyDeleteIt's so clear here. You've written this so well.
I can't wait for more!
Really liked your post!
ReplyDeleteI love this! I hope they get back together. I love how his imagination is his own worst enemy and creating the jealousy. One of them needs to get their head out of their behind and say something. :)
ReplyDeleteOoh! Love this! I haven't read the other stuff yet, so I'm off to do that now, but even as a standalone piece, this is really intriguing and I know that I, for one, totally relate to the What Ifs of it all.
ReplyDeleteMy only crit is that if it's titled "Her Green Eyes..." I feel like her eyes should be made a bigger deal of; they're really only mentioned in passing, and I expect them to be a focal point.
Otherwise, excellent as always! :)
what an achingly described scene. the emotion was palpable here. well done!
ReplyDeleteGreat piece, ANdrea. I need to go back and read the others b/c I can tell I've missed something. The emotion here is obvious---enjoyed this a lot!
ReplyDeleteI love a good internal struggle. I love that you base this around such a common question, "what are you thinking?"
ReplyDeleteGood writers look below the surface, you did just that.