"Bella. Bella. Bella. Come here, Bella. Bella. Bella. Bella."
I turn around. She (my child) is hiding under Dexter's blanket. Bella (younger dog, new to the family) is looking around like, 'What on earth is wrong with this random human? Why is she hiding her head and face from me?'
Good morning, bloggy friends.
I have already had a bit of a morning, in that I went to the doctor for my check-in/check-up type of appointment today. I met the new doc, and decided she kind of reminds me of my younger cousin I don't talk to anymore, only not *quite* as flighty. Which isn't to say she is or isn't, as I don't know her well enough to know. But she is a dead ringer, honestly, and that freaks me out just a little bit.
And I went into talk to her about my anxiety meds. Which is a good thing. She's good with giving me my 3 month refill when I'm ready, so that's good. And all will be well this holiday season. Or something.
But yeah, she also talked to me about my weight. I brought it up, explaining that I know I've put on a few pounds (had some other medical-related-matters to address that I think brought that on) and her response was: You can start today.
She's right, you know? I mean, I know. I know I can, should, will want to. Even probably WILL start today. But then what? What happens tomorrow? How does one make sure that movement - REAL movement - beyond a walk or two - the kind where you break a sweat - - how does a stay-at-home-mom of a 4-year-old girl (so many dashes, sometimes I'm addicted to them) get moving to the point that she sees the scale go down?
Food matters, too, of course. I know that. I'm a 39 year old woman. No dashes required. I'm 39. I didn't get to 39 without knowing that eating right and exercise help you lose weight. So how do I DO that? Why can't I do it? What helps me do it? When last week we got our second dog and we took a 2 mile walk and I did really well, and I felt good, really good, and then we walked and ran and played fetch and did lots of stuff this weekend and past week - and the scale doesn't/didn't move. How do I get past that? When there's nothing medically wrong with me? When I kind of wish it was something a pill could help? That's bad, I know. I really DON'T wish that. But what to do and how?
I write about this often around here. I re-motivate myself and feel ready to go. DO! GO! YES! And then what? I flop and fail. Sigh.
I suppose I just begin again.
What about you? How do you fit it all in? How do you make it a critical effort when you know it's needed? How do you accept yourself for who you are and work to change yourself at the same time? Is that even allowed? I mean, it should be. It HAS to be, right?
Sigh, again.
I'll think about it. I'll ponder. And hopefully I'll DO.
Thanks for *listening* ...
How do I fit it all in? Ha. I do not. I was just telling my friend Shanti that I really really need to start prioritizing taking care of ME. And that includes laying off the carbs and eating more veggies an exercising. I don't eat horribly, but I am in my mid-30s and things have gone downhill, I need to put a lot more effort into losing weight.
ReplyDeleteWanna buddy up? :-)
It's so hard... (look, I have a thing for too many periods :)) I think you have to just keep starting today... every day is a new day and if yesterday didn't go well, you just start over today.
ReplyDeleteFirst, you realize it isn't easy. Then you take one day at a time. Each day is a success. Heck, each hour is a success. There will always be bumps in the road, but you just refocus on the successes. Eventually, you start to really like how it makes you feel (regardless if the scale goes up or down). The exercise, the better eating - it makes you feel good. THAT becomes addictive, and then you don't feel right when you don't do it. Then you realize the scale and your clothes are starting to line up with the new feelings. And seek support and encouragement wherever you can get it! So important!
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain. I tend to fluxate 50 pounds every 3 years. Can you say stretch marks? But, honestly, at 37, I can say that after a decade of weightwatchers, certain habits are ingrained. Just know I adore you as long as you're healthy! And even if you're not. I'm here whenever you need me, my sweet friend.
ReplyDeleteI love how you ended this post!I think, ponder and hopefully I do! What perfect ending.
ReplyDelete