The one who hid in the corner at the mixers.
The one who felt a lump in her throat when she thought someone didn't like her.
Didn't respect her for who she was. Who she is.
It's so easy to fall into that trap.
I hate it. I hate when my mind tricks me into thinking that girl is still here.
She's long gone.
Many years of therapy behind me. Many a moment of heartache and struggle.
Gone.
I have no need for her angst anymore.
I have friends who know my worth.
Who value me for who I am.
Who feel the vibes I send out and sense how strong I am.
How strong I can be.
I'm enough.
I will always be enough.
And I'll never let anyone tell me ... make me feel ... indicate otherwise.
What you may not know is how hard it is to remind myself of that.
I try.
And I DO.
But it's damned hard sometimes.
And yet I still DO.
Oh I so relate to this. Some days it's hard to fight the demons because they never completely go away!
ReplyDeleteIt is so hard but we work at it even harder :)
ReplyDeleteFinding our worth in ourselves leads to much sadness in the end. Finding it in the One who gave us life leads to life everlasting and a full and amazing life lived for the glory of God!
ReplyDeleteI can understand where you're coming from - thank goodness for a God who loves us and redeems even the most broken!
I can so relate to this.
ReplyDeleteI do like the way you said so much without excessive words - well done.
I can relate to this. Stay strong!
ReplyDeleteOh yeah. I think we all struggle with that. But it's so great that you're aware and wanting to remember that.
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard. True self-worth is hard fought and powerful stuff, but it's fleeting sometimes, too. Beautiful words. Feel their power :)
ReplyDeleteOh friend, you most definitely are enough. :)
ReplyDeleteDont' ever give up speaking the truth to yourself! You are so worth it.
ReplyDeleteI hope you find it easier. You are wonderful and deserving you know :-)
ReplyDeleteOh those are good reminders, and hard work. The very best kind.
ReplyDeleteit is hard. so hard but i think it's part of being. constantly working on ourselves is part of being, no? i love this post. it's very heartfelt. :)
ReplyDeleteYou know I know how this feels...The Committee and their chatter...sometimes they are good, and sometimes they are bad.
ReplyDeleteAs long as I keep them in check, I can use them for good and not evil. :)