I'm sitting here looking up ONE THING. Seriously. This time it was just one thing. I sent a message to someone and she starts standing over me. It's fine. I don't mind. I'm not ignoring her.
She says, look, I can stand in your flip flops. She's been acting grown-up and wearing them. Standing in them.
And then she says, I didn't mean to do this.
Picks one up and hands it to me. And it's broken.
She broke my shoe.
I know she's only five. She's one of the loves of my life.
But why does she continue to show such disregard to things. My things. Her things. My husband's things. Why?
What am I doing wrong? Am I just not teaching her to respect stuff?
I know we have a cluttered home. A lot of stuff. A lot of crap. But still, we treat things right. We teach her to be careful, to put her stuff away. We try really hard.
And it's so ridiculous to be pissed off about a shoe, is it not?
When what it really is is that why would she just not consider the shoe A SHOE. And not a toy?
I'm sitting here frustrated and decided it's Wednesday. I should pour it all out today and link up. Again, I know it's an overreaction. But I didn't yell. I did not lose it. I just said - WHY? And that I'm very disappointed in her that she didn't take care of my things. She showed me sadness. Remorse. Whatever you want to call it. I know it was an accident, but accidents of this kind happen when you're careless. Right? I mean - yes, I know she's five, but sometimes I just wish that there were certain things she'd consider and know. And I don't know how we're going to teach them to her if the ways we're already trying aren't yet working.
Sigh. Motherhood. Parenting. It's so rough. Sometimes. All the time. A lot of the time.
It's hard being a mom.
Many hugs. Parenting is the dang toughest thing I've ever done. And the sad part is, it takes a couple of decades before we know if we got it right!
ReplyDeleteI think sometimes they just accidentally break things - it's like they don't realize yet that things can be easily broken and you have to be careful. It happens at our house a lot too. Hopefully they'll grow out of it, right?
ReplyDeleteHugs to you - and I feel your pain. Been going through a rough patch over here too. "Why don't you think about things before you go ahead and do them!"
ReplyDeleteSounds like you handled it well. Disappointment over something you like breaking AND your child touching your things without asking is normal...both as a parent AND a child! Maybe be glad it's a flip flop and not grandma's treasured crystal vase?
ReplyDeleteIt really *is* hard being a mom, and it really *is* hard to let these things go sometimes, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteLe sigh.
Where's the chocolate? :)
Hang in there, mama!
Sometimes sensing disappointment can be the greatest learning tool ever. I'm sorry. :(
ReplyDeleteYep, you are teaching her. Letting her know you were disappointed is the best way. The fact that she was sad or showed remorse - well, that's the learning process. Unfortunately, as parents, the learning process kinda sucks. :( Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteDon't stress to much... it gets better in time! I promise.
ReplyDeleteShe knew that you were upset with her and like Liz said it's probably the best learning tool!
You could also ask her what she would think if you broke one of her things... she what she would say.
It is tough. Because you don't want to spaz out - but at the same time - you want them to know you are serious.... STOP BREAKING MY CRAP!! I so hear you!
ReplyDeleteI have no wise words for you – all I can say is: girl, I hear that!
ReplyDeleteI hate when the girls break things because of disregard. If it's a problem with the item, or when they used it a lot and it just gives... no problem. And it's ok to break a glass now and again. But simply because you did things badly and didn't take care? No. I don't like that. And I too try to be less anal about it, but at the same time I think it's important that they learn the value of things. Gaaah. Yes, it is hard, a lot of the time!
I've had to realize this summer that because I often have things all over the place and don't take care of them, my boys don't value their things as much either. It makes me cringe. I've been working to get my house cleaner and neater. And then the expectations are going way up.
ReplyDeleteParenting is so hard. So hard.
ReplyDeleteI guess the dynamic was different for us b/c we had our kids back to back, so it wasn't just a matter of needing them not to break our stuff, but each other's... I fully admit that we brainwashed(?) ours from an early age a rule I grew up with: "If it doesn't belong to you, don't touch it." Yadee yadee subparts about if you absolutely must, then ask permission, but if the answer is no, it's no... it kind of helped. I think the fact that, at this age, she owned up to breaking it and apologized, unprompted, is a HUGE indicator that you are ABSOLUTELY on the right track. Your reaction was perfect. What you've firmly established is an open line of communication with your child, and she feels comfortable coming to you when she knows she's muddled things. Foster that! It'll be invaluable in ten years, for certain. ...and, FWIW, I've always found that it's really difficult to find that balance between wanting your kids to take care of things and not creating little materialistic monsters. It sounds like you've done a great job of finding that balance! <3
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