The sounds of a plastic bag being whisked through the house.
The television on a volume way too high.
Utensils scraping against plates. Or each other.
Like nails on a chalkboard for my sensitive ears.
My eyes flinch shut just a drop as I hear the squeak of the bones of my couch.
Pillows scatter the floor like a blanket.
She bounces.
I watch.
She smiles.
I sigh.
I breathe in and out. Working towards a calmer me.
My head still pounding slightly.
My body aching to run. Wishing for a workout.
Honest. I do.
It's so hot.
The house quiets some.
Good Luck, Charlie is softer on the television.
I slip over to the table. Pop open my book.
Zone out for a little bit.
Watching her jump.
Letting her BE.
Breathing slowly. Hoping she doesn't get hurt.
I can't raise my voice anymore.
It hurts my eyes at the sound.
She's put down the flag, so that's a start.
It's not a toy. It's dangerous.
She listened.
We're moving forward.
Together.
Even when sometimes my mind needs to take me somewhere else.
Somewhere separate.
For just me.
With no sound.
In light of my recent stream of migraines (with sound/light sensitivity) I totally get this. The tiniest of sounds was excruciating. Hope you find some solace soon :-)
ReplyDeleteThat was so BEAUTIFULLY written.
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful, very well written.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I'm the writer over at In the Powder Room who wrote the post about the kid in the food court at the mall. I had to laugh when I read the "nice to meet you"...we've sort of known each other for two years now. :) It's me Sandra, from Absolutely Narcissism!
This. Ohmygoodness. THIS.
ReplyDeleteYou had me at 'plastic bag'.
Know that whistle-Marco-Polo thing you saw a couple of days ago? Completely stemmed from my refusing to holler to be heard.
Prone to migraines, here, too, but also just generally overwhelmed by sensory input. It does get better as they get older.
SO beautiful!
ReplyDeleteI have totally lived this moment. I hope you found quiet!
ReplyDeleteI totally understand how sound gets under your skin sometimes. Bravo on being patient!
ReplyDeleteLately for me it's been the shenanigans in the car, when I just need to concentrate and drive!
ReplyDeleteBut The Girl had a sleepover the night before last and The Boy stumbled down about 40 minutes later than normal with a sly grin, "Mamma, I slept in because The Girl wasn't here to wake me up with NetFlix!"
I have 3 boys so I so get what you write about here. Now if only my husband could understand. He walks into the room where they are jumping on the couch and screaming and wonders about my parenting skills! Sigh.
ReplyDeleteI've been living this moment for months now.
ReplyDeleteSigh...I know...it's the last nerve being plucked over and over. Hugs