Mine's changed.
My perspective.
I used to be someone who would overreact, or simply, REACT (capitals for emphasis) to certain things.
And I don't now. Not really.
I mean, sure, I have my emotions and my feelings and my anxieties. Those don't change or go away - they're a part of who I am.
But life is different now.
Recently my laptop went black on me.
I mean - completely black - like buh-bye.
My husband looked at me after trying to fix it. Shook his head.
Everything. Gone. Wiped. Kaput.
We couldn't remember the last time we backed it up. Honestly, that's bad. I know. I should be doing that regularly. But I took a deep breath and replied.
Okay.
Okay?
Yep. Okay.
I survived. I lost a few pictures - sure, maybe - but I survived. Life moved on.
Last night he came upstairs and had a similar expression. Apologetic, almost.
He restarted the DVR and when it started again he clicked the list button and - - - -
NOTHING.
Empty.
70% full was now 100% free.
Okay.
Okay?
I'll find General Hospital on YouTube. I'll catch up on several seasons of Girls somehow.
All the movies? We'll get them back. Most of them are on more often than you'd imagine.
My daughter cried out for Phineas and Ferb. Well, not cried, but yelled, maybe?
We'll just record them again.
Things like this? These electronic mishaps? Totally would have zonked me before.
Before what? When?
Honestly, I think losing my father has given me a completely different perspective. There are so many awful things happening in our world that my losing a few photographs or a few television recordings is nothing in comparison. I've already suffered one of the worst losses in my 41+ years. My heart has been shattered and I'm still picking up the pieces nine months later.
So, yes.
Okay.
Because it's all about perspective.
* Linking up with Shell's Pour Your Heart Out this week. *
* p.s. The DVR recovered itself, but my point is still valid - I think.*
Tragedy does have a way of changing our perspective. I felt the same way when I was struggling with my son's behavior last year. No matter how hard it got I reminded myself that my friend had lost her son that year and she would do anything to but heads with her son again. Not that it wasn't frustrating, it just wasn't as big of a deal after Jessie died.
ReplyDeleteAs I get older I learn more and more not to sweat the small stuff, and even though that seemed big at the time, I am with you, in the grand scheme of things, it was very VERY small!
ReplyDeleteLove this post!
I love your perspective. I'm someone who jumps to catastrophizing, and I'm so impressed by your calm. It is so beautiful to watch you use the hard stuff to grow. You inspire me.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, maturity and experiences in life are among the factors affecting one's point of view.
ReplyDeleteSo true. Our perspective does change when real things in the world, bad things remind us of what is important.
ReplyDeleteAndrea, I totally understand this. I lost my sister a few years ago and it completely changed me as a person. I used to get upset over every little thing but after losing her, all of the little annoyances in life just didn't seem like a big deal.
ReplyDeleteI think once you face true pain, everything else pales in comparison.
The pain subsides for the most part although I don't think it ever foes away completely. I still have moments when I cry for my sister but they are far and few between.
Thank you for being brave enough to share this with us. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.
Hi, Andrea,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear about the death of your father.
Those types of losses do leave a big mark on us, don't they?
When we experience what we individually consider one of life's Big Grievances, then the Little Grievances don't seem quite so important any more...
General Hospital on YouTube, eh? Wow! I haven't watched that it so many years! Technology is fabulous, isn't it? ESPECIALLY when it WORKS! LOL
The computer? I use a Seagate back-up. It's attached to my docking station, so it's always on and set to automatically back up all the important stuff. I, too, lost "everything," once, and though frustrating, I did have that same sense that you now have, that it can all be reproduced in some fashion, and that losing data isn't so bad afterall...
You see, my first big loss came in the death of my son, twenty-four years ago...
Mind if I share a link with you? Something I wrote on one of my son's birthdays...somehow, I think you might find meaning in it... http://thefivefacets.blogspot.com/2010/05/driving-shooting-star.html
All my best, Andrea,
Yours in healing, hope, and happiness,
~Annah Elizabeth
It is good for you to remind us, too, to keep perspective. Sometimes I get so weary, so tired, that the smallest things make me forget what is important. Thank you for this! xo
ReplyDeleteYep. It's all just "stuff". Unimportant.
ReplyDeleteSo true Andrea! I too find that as life goes on I'm much less picky about things and let more slide off my back than ever before. There's been a lot of research on this and say that typically as women reach middle age and beyond they do mellow out some. While I don't like being just another statistic, in this case it is a good thing!
ReplyDeleteRight on. Things that were, aren't; things that weren't, are.
ReplyDeleteMuch love to you-- the first year sucks the hardest.
Lost my dad 5 years ago (when I was 39) and I can so relate to this. I was worried that the better perspective would ware off, but for the most part, it hasn't. Rule 1. Don't sweat the small stuff. Rule 2. Almost everything is small stuff. So sorry for your loss. Truly.
ReplyDeleteI was reading your story and feeling frustrated and angry for you about the computer and DVR. Then I read that it would have bothered you before. And I was wondering what made you such an enlightened and patient soul. Then I found out.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your loss. You're absolutely right; the computer and DVR don't matter. Thank you for sharing your story and helping me change my perspective, even if it's only for a little while.
Happy Sharefest. I hope you have a lovely weekend.
It really is all about perspective, and the unfortunate things that happen in our lives sometimes to understand it. I am very sorry about your loss. Thank you for sharing this important lesson. Stopping by from Sharefest.
ReplyDeleteYour point is totally still valid!
ReplyDeleteAnd important.
And needed.
I'm a REACTOR far too often. But you are absolutely right - most of the stuff I REACT to is not a big deal. Not really. Stuff can be replaced. Most things really aren't big deals at all.
I LOVE this. I found my perspective changed when we lost my brother. And once again when I got sick.
ReplyDeleteNow I try to focus on the little moments and remember that life is too short to get worked up about it all. It nothing else, it seems to be helping with my anxiety.
Lots of love and hugs, my dear. I hope you're finding some light in your days, especially with your new perspective.
I hate the circumstance that led you to this attitude. But I do love your attitude.
ReplyDeleteThere's just no reason to freak out over the little things. Life is a lot more stressful if every little thing makes us meltdown. And the things that I can't do anything about, I know the freak out won't help anything and will probably make me feel worse.