Managing Emotions

I'm an emotional person.

This has been a given. Know me, know I'm emotional.

And it's interesting what sort of control we're supposed to have over our emotions, isn't it?

That we're supposed to bite back the howls and the hollers.

Let the tears fall silently and wipe them away when nobody is looking.

I haven't written in over a week.

Maybe longer.

But I haven't written and that's not working for me.

Because as an emotional person, I breathe through my words.

I'm experiencing a lot right now, personally.

I'm not going to get into it - but if you know me you know I have anxiety and you know I find my way. And so - I continue to do that now, with extra emotions on-hand.

But I won't check them. I can't.

I can't shove them down deeply into my being and ignore them until I explode.

Until I implode.

And so I write.

I write when I need to say things I can't put to "paper" - virtual or otherwise.

I write when my body is tired and I feel like I've been run over by a Mack truck, and I can't figure out how to lift myself up.

I write when I'm missing someone I love and holding on to their memory.

I write when I struggle with motherhood and can't figure out if I'm doing anything right but know that I'm trying.

I write for comfort. For healing. To remind myself that I have a voice.

And so. I'll continue to write.

Even if it's a once in a while thing. I'll do it when I can and when I need to. And I hope you'll still read it when I write it. Because that's all I ask of you. Is that you read my words. And that you hear me.

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