Figuring Things Out

I'm still not quite sure where I stand.

I'm finding my way.

Figuring things out.

It's so so very difficult.

My emotions bubble to the surface.

I feel them. Fight them. Let them rise. Allow them to overflow.

All the while - figuring things out.

I don't quite know what the rest of this year will bring.

I'll tell you, though, a year ago this week I would never have guessed my world would have changed so much in less than - well - not a year, not even four months.

It's true. What they say. That time flies.

And yet. It's not.

Because time trudges along so slowly.

And me?

I'm still here.

Figuring things out.

I see a semblance of some future.

I watch my daughter navigate her emotions.

I see and feel myself succumb to mine.

And then I stand again.

Tall.

As tall as my 5' 2" self can.

And I take steps forward.

Still finding my way.

Figuring things out.

I'm too reliant.

Too trusting?

Perhaps.

Too hopeful?

No. Not really.

I'm just working at not being hopeLESS.

To do that - what remains - what I need ...

Is HOPE.

And so, I move forward.

Figuring things out.

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