I used this term with a friend tonight and got asked what I'm comparing myself to.
Or who against.
And she's so damned right.
And yet. I do it anyway.
Why do we do this?
This comparison thing?
It's not a game.
There's no winning or losing.
Who are we up against?
Who are we standing side-by-side with?
Aren't they our friends?
Our loved ones?
Those who support us and encourage us and listen to us with their entire hearts?
Aren't these the people in our lives?
So - falling short.
Why is it even a thing?
Because we've spent so many years comparing ourselves.
We - especially women - and I say this because it's what I know and who I am ...
We compare ourselves to those around us.
To those we know.
To those we don't.
Especially to those on social media.
We say to ourselves, I want to be like her when I grow up.
And suddenly, we look around and realize we ARE grown up.
But how can that be possible?
We're not there yet.
Where is there, anyway?
If I'm being honest - I'm not sure.
My "there" is in my own head.
Especially now.
Today.
This week.
This month.
This year.
Oh. This year.
I've fallen short more times than I can count.
More times than I can explain.
I don't always know why.
Or what causes it.
But I've felt it.
Lived it.
Breathed it.
Falling short stings.
It stings so badly.
Maybe even more when you have no idea who you're comparing yourself to.
Is it easier when you do?
I'm not sure.
I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm still here.
Falling short.
All the while telling my friends that they're amazing.
Incredible.
And above all - or in spite of it - human.
We're all human.
So.
Who are we comparing ourselves to, exactly?
And how is it possible that we're falling short at all?
Isn't it just that we're being ourselves?
Living our lives?
Finding our way?
And then.
When we do.
We'll see we were there all along.
Where we were supposed to be.
Never short.
Never behind.
Never beneath.
Just.
There.
And isn't it possible.
Likely, even.
That that's exactly where I am, too?
Right there.
Right next to you.
Standing tall.
Even me, my 5' 2" self.
Tall.
And not really falling short at all.
If you need a woman in your life like my friend Dani you can find her at Ok, Dani and talk to her about the opportunities she has for you to hire her as your coach. This girl motivates and inspires like nobody's business. Or however the saying goes. Reach out to her. You'll thank me when you do.
Never short.
ReplyDeleteJust where you need to be. Right here. Right now.
... and I'm right there/here/wherever you/me/we oughta be.
Cheering you on.
xoxo
We see other's highlight reels and forget it's not their everyday.
ReplyDeleteTake it one day, one hour, one minute, or one second at a time.
denise
Such truth in this post. Social media can be the thing that tears us down more than building us up and it can be a struggle but you, my friend, are standing tall and straight and are perfectly fine. You've got this. One step at a time, one day at a time. You've got this!
ReplyDeleteWe all fall short in our own opinions from time to time and that's okay...........what's important is that we pick ourselves back up and keep on going!
ReplyDeleteI should probably look up who said it, but whenever I find myself comparing myself to others I remind myself of this quote “Comparison is the thief of joy” it’s become a mantra of sorts. It helps me let go of things I can’t control. (which can be super hard for my type a personality!) Hang in. You ARE incredible. And like others have said — one day at a time is the best way to move forward.
ReplyDeleteWow how I love this! I was just telling a friend how I say things to myself I would never say to a friend. Why do we do this? Thank you Andrea for normalizing this crazy comparison thing we all do. xx
ReplyDeleteYou will never fall short. Comparisons are odious. Always, And YES you are incredible. Thanks for this post.
ReplyDeleteThis is great. We short women stand tall!
ReplyDelete